The Birth

At home
I woke up around 6 or 7 in the morning of Saturday 8 January and felt something was going on. I had menstrual type pains maybe 10 minutes apart. I went back to sleep and when I woke up again around 9am the pain was stronger and coming every 5-6 minutes. I woke Peter with a "don't get scared but I think I'm in labour", to which he responded "but I haven't finished packing yet!" and jumped out of bed :)

We ate breakfast, I took a shower and we finished packing that bag. By 11:30am my contractions were still a bit irregular; some 5-6 minutes apart but most 3-4 minutes apart, so we called the hospital. They said they were currently full and that since my contractions were iregular and I seemed to be managing (thanks to the breathing classes), I should stay at home a bit longer.

So we, or I, endured for another few hours. We had lunch. But by 3pm my contractions were at least 3-4 minutes apart and sometimes only 1-2 minutes apart. So we called again, twice. The first time they said that they would have a room free soon and could we hold on a bit longer. The second time, around 15:45, they said we could come in for a check-up (to see how much dilated I was) and then they'd see what they could do (when they are full they call around to other hospitals to find you a space, you don't need to do it yourself). We decided to take our time so that the room would definitely be ready by the time we arrived. And once we were ready to leave I wasn't that fast, as moving about, putting my jacket on, getting into the car, etc. was a bit arduous with regular oncoming contractions. Hence we didn't get to the hospital until some time after 5pm, by which time there was indeed a vacant room for us.

At the hospital
17:30 - We arrived to the hospital and I was greeted by midwife Gunilla. She examined me and found that I was 4 cm dilated and that the baby's head was still adjustable and could be pushed upwards. My water had not broken yet but they could feel that the amniotic sac was bulging. They hooked me up to a fetal monitor to measure the baby's heart rate a well as my contractions.



18:30 - The baby's CTG was normal so the equipment was removed for the time being. I was managing by using breathing technique at this stage.

19:00 - I started taking a shower for pain alleviation and stayed there for two hours...

21:15 - I started using the laughing gas. First I didn't think it helped much but then I learned the technique I guess because suddenly I felt a rush and realised what it was all about! However, as it takes 20 seconds before the gas has effect, which means you have to inhale the gas early when you first start feeling a contraction coming, timing is difficult. Thus sometimes I was either too late or the opposite, overdosed a bit.

This photo shows almost how it feels to be a bit high on laughing gas :)

21:20 - The midwife decided to give me a glucose drip (through a hep-lock) as I had vomited several times over the last few hours due to, I think, the baby still being high up; every time I was positioned (either because they wanted to examine me or because I shifted position for pain management) with my legs bent up towards my stomach, I became sick.

22:00 - Shift change, new midwife team (midwife + nurse) headed by Emma

Around midnight - I was dilated 8 cm. So far so good. I continued using the laughing gas (with the occasional overdose - one time I told Peter and the midwife it was like "having an orgasm" *cough* *red cheeks*) and shifted positions (sometimes standing with the help of a walking chair, sometimes seated on chair, sometimes in bed - but lying in bed was just painful) regularly.

02:30 - I had difficulties urinating so I got a little help with that, since a full bladder can prevent the baby from moving down. I was still dilated 8, maybe 9 cm and the baby's head was still "bouncing" above spinae. The midwife consulted the doctor about breaking my water to move things along.

03:00 - The doctor broke my water (so-called amniotomy). Afterwards she placed a scalp electrode against the baby's head to monitor the heartbeat internally (this electrode was kept throughout until she was born). After the procedure I was only dilated 7 cm, as it is normal for the cervix to narrow following amniotomy.

04:30 - Next we tried sterile water injections against pain in my lower back from the contractions. This is a really painful method but the pain is short and supposed to release the body's own pain relief hormones and thus help with the contractions. Didn't work on me though! And Peter said it was the worst thing he'd experienced (as in witnessed) in his life. Even if it was short, I was in extreme pain for those 30 seconds and it's never fun to see someone you love in pain (obviously he felt like this from time to time throughout labour but the sterile water injections were probably the worst for him). I was already a bit "removed" in a way, as I was already living or internalising the pain, if that makes sense.

Afterwards we have read up a little on sterile water and it seems like there are mixed reviews on its benefits. What is clear is that while epidurals is an evidence-based method, the scientific evidence on sterile water is so-so.

05:20 - Since the sterile water didn't help against the pain and there had not been any progress for a while, the midwife recommended an epidural both to give me some pain relief after hours of intense contractions and to move things along. They prepare me (local anathesia) and also placed a new scalp electrode on the baby's head. Someone asked me afterwards if it wasn't difficult to lie still for the epidural when having intense contractions but I can't really remember; I'm sure it was but I must have wanted it so bad that maybe the contractions slowed down for a while??

The epidural gives me some time to eat (toast and another smoothie - I had been drinking smoothies throughout the night even if I got sick from time to time) and sleep (Peter also took a nap on the couch).

07:00 - At 7am there was another shift change and midwife Yvonne took over

07:30 - A new examination revealed status quo. The baby was not pushing downwards. The midwife decided to administer a contraction-stimulating drip. I still had had contractions while I rested (I was still hooked up to a monitor and could see the strength of the contractions there) but mine weren't strong or effective enough.

The drip started working but since the epidural hadn't been 100% effective - sometimes the case with epidurals - I felt stronger and stronger pain in my back on the right side so after a while the drip had to be turned down a little. During this time I also continued to change positions but the bed was still unpopular; it just hurt too much to lie down or even stand on my knees and lean towards the back of the bed.

11:00 - Finally some progress as the midwife could feel the baby's eyebrows when examining me. Another midwife was called in to do an ultrasound to see how the baby's head was positioned. The head was still not all the way down and was face-up instead of face-down (and had not moved despite me constantly changing positions and moving about throughout the night). While she had me in the bed (because of the exam) the midwife asked me to push through a few contractions even though we weren't at the pushing stage yet while she was massaging my cervix; this to try to help move things along. At this point I started using the laughing gas again (had stopped when I got the epidural). This seemed to do the trick.

11:38 - At 11:38 it was finally pushing time. I had decided earlier that I wanted to sit on a birthing stool while giving birth. Peter sat behind me on a chair, holding my shoulders and helping me through each contraction and push. The midwife sat in front of me guiding me when to push and when not to, and a nurse provided her with extra support.

The stool is recommended because it's a better position than lying down on a bed as it allows gravity to help and also is supposed to prevent tearing. It also allows the father to provide more effective support and to be almost as close as the mother once the baby is born and is placed on the mother's chest. The midwife had told me that once the baby was out they would help me up on the bed immediately as lying down helps stop bleeding.

12:04 - Our baby girl was born! Finally! The feeling when she* was in my arms was just amazing and I get tears in my eyes when I think about it. It's also amazing how the pain immediately disappears as soon as the baby is out! And how you forget the hardship immediately - minutes after she was born I said to Peter "next time I don't want that sterile water!"; evidently I was already thinking of having another one! :)

They helped me to the bed and a couple minutes later the placenta came out without me having to push. It was intact and I also lost very little blood, 2oo ml compared to the normal (average) 1 l. The umbilical cord was quite short and tore a little when she was born so they put extra staples to make sure Isolde got the last of all the good stuff. Peter then cut the cord as per new fathers' first duty :)

I was fortunate and didn't suffer any tearing, only small contusions - maybe because she wasn't a huge baby or because of the birthing stool or because I used that special oil in the last four weeks of pregnancy or maybe just because I was lucky! - hence didn't need any stitches.

It was first after Peter had cut the cord and they had examined me that we checked if it was a boy or a girl. I was just so happy that our baby was finally here and that s/he seemed healthy (ten fingers and ten toes, etc.) that the sex was secondary. But once we found out it felt like "of course it was a girl in there all this time!".

Isolde** was pretty quick at finding the breast - the feeling when she suckled for the first time was just so cool!

After that the midwife team left us alone for a while and then arrived with the "famous" tray with sandwiches, (non-alcoholic) cider and a Swedish flag. Later a new midwife came (new shift) to weigh and measure Isolde and checked that she was able to nurse and that she had pooped (the black poop, meconium) - I stayed in bed while Peter "supervised" the examination and dressed her for the first time***. After a few hours we were asked to pack up our stuff and move down to the ward as they needed the delivery room for another duo of parents-to-be.

The verdict
Giving birth is tough! But so worth it! Even if it took 30 hours from the first contraction and 19 hours from when we arrived in the hospital and the pain was sometimes almost unbearable. I managed pretty well though, thanks to the breathing (and relaxation) classes and of course some medical assistance, especially the epidural. I only broke down once really and it was just a short cry in the middle of the night/early morning when I felt "will it never end" and started talking about a caesarean section (which the midwife ignored). The rational side of me knew it would end at some point of course.

Peter was just amazing through it all and I couldn't have managed without him! He was that support I could count on and I knew he was on top of all the medical stuff and that I didn't need to be in full control all the time. It's funny though how exhausted he was the next day - he slept like a baby (no pun intended) the first night while I had had a flow of hormones keeping me awake - even though I was the one who had been running a marathon. But that's how it works - women are programmed to take care of the new arrival, get the breast-feeding going, etc. The second night I was "allowed" to relax a little.

* Though we didn't know she was a she yet then
** We didn't decide on the name until later
*** The vernix is left and they only dry off the worst of the blood, so her first clothes were pretty dirty afterwards :)