Harald turned 6 weeks on Tuesday (I know, time flies!). He's growing quickly - his latest weigh-in (which was yesterday, together with an early two-month doctor's appointment) was 4,670 gr. He has now just about caught up with Isolde at the same age. Here's how they compare:
Birth weight: 2,805 (Isolde 3,365)
6 days old: 2,640 (Isolde 3,498)
1 week, 2 days: 2,700 (Isolde 3,470)
1 week, 6 days: 2,950
2 weeks, 6 days: 3,390 (Isolde 3,680 at 2 weeks, 1 day)
5 weeks: 4,340 (Isolde 4,470)
6 weeks, 1 day: 4,670 (Isolde 4,690)
As you can see, Harald gained almost 1 kilo in two weeks, from 3,390 to 4,340, at the previous check-up last week. In terms of length, he's now 55 cm and Isolde was 54 at this age (although their length is always difficult to get correct, compared to their weight).
The days go so quickly! The first month of Harald's life Isolde kept her regular hours at preschool (9:00-16:00) and Peter dropped her off
and picked her up. Since 12 March Peter drops her off at 9am and I pick her up by 3pm and some days it feels like I haven't done much by the time I have to go and get her. Especially on the days when I've been up early with both kids (Isolde often wakes up at 5 at the moment... hope it changes to at least 6 now when we change the clocks this weekend) and then gone back to bed at 9 and slept for a couple of hours. After that it's lunch and perhaps an errand or a walk, and suddenly it's 3pm. But don't take me wrong, I'm very grateful Isolde is able to attend preschool even though I'm on parental leave (this wasn't the case before the late 1990s) and the 30-hour entitlement in Stockholm is a luxury. She really loves it there so I'm happy she doesn't have to stay home with boring mum and brother. Though on days that I have plans, e.g. hanging with one of my friends who are also on maternity leave and who have kids the same age as Isolde, she'll have a day off. And she's already been home with me on several occasions due to illness (pink eye and a cold).
On those days, when I've had both children, I feel that I'm neglecting both, albeit at different times. Luckily Harald wants to sleep a lot now in the beginning, because on those days he has had to spend most of the day in his cot while Isolde has got most of my attention. However, often it seems he's desperate to be fed at the very minute I have to make lunch for Isolde or we're having the most fun playing. And then I feel bad for
her. She's also been jealous of him, of course, and I don't want to have to say no to her too much. But it's a bit difficult to have her on my lap while I'm breast-feeding... Luckily she's usually content (or has to be content) with sitting close to me and watching TV or reading a book while I feed him. I know I shouldn't feel bad, as she will (eventually) get love and attention also from a devoted little brother, and life is all about learning how to share, but it's difficult to fight off that bad consciousness anyway. I know she's doing fine and that I'm doing my best but it's easy to still feel a bit iadequate. Luckily she has a great dad who devotes most of his evenings to her. Although I wish we could switch kid more in the evening so-to-speak, but the evenings are still one of the main feeding times for Harald (though I plan to start expressing milk so that Peter can feed him too).
I think that is the main "lesson" so far after six weeks as parents of two children; i.e. that life becomes somewhat "divided", at least now in the beginning. Peter takes care of Isolde and I take care of Harald. It's not really like with Isolde when we "discovered" our child together. When Peter was back at work after his two weeks off he reflected over the fact that he had hardly held Harald since he started working again. Lately it's been a bit better though because we're making a conscious effort to make sure I also put Isolde to sleep at night when Harald is content or sleeping anyway (although Isolde is daddy's girl so sometimes she only wants him) and Peter spends some time with Harald when he's not eating (but as you can see from his weight gain above most of his awaken time has been feeding time ha ha :) And once Isolde is down for the night, usually around 8pm, it's the three of us; Harald, Peter and me.
The second lesson is the shared attention aspect I described above. And the time and effort involved in taking care of two children on your own (
eloge to single parents!), especially now in the beginning when it's a new situation and Harald doesn't have any "routines". Peter has yet to experience this ha ha! I desperately need a haircut so I plan to leave him with both rascals in the near future so I can look presentable again.
In other and related news, Isolde has entered the terrible twos big time (well, it's probably nothing compared to how it can get and maybe will get as time goes on this year). It started around Christmas and has increased with her turning two and with Harald arriving. She throws tantrums (sometimes with highpitch screaming which we're trying to make her stop doing) when she doesn't get what she wants or when she doesn't want to do what we want her to do, such as get dressed, brush her teeth, eat what's being served, not mess with Harald, and so on. But we're learning how to deal with it and what makes things easier for us - or rather for her and thus for us. Key words are time, preparation and patience. At least if she is to get dressed in the morning without a fight and tears. She wants to do things when she wants to do it and at her pace. So the trick is to let her do that, or rather, have her think that's how it is (or is she still the one manipulating us, who knows? ;) Letting her make the choices - those that a two-year-old can make, e.g. choosing between two outfits, also make getting dressed so much easier. Sometimes she doesn't know what she wants though, and since her language skills leave much to ask for still, it doesn't help her or us. That said, she's very good at getting what she wants by pointing and gestures (just like her dad when he was little apparently). E.g. she can't say "thirsty" or "drink" so she's started doing a pretend cough when she's thirsty. Cute and creative! :)
Besides the occasional scratch (one resulting in a few drops of blood), Isolde has treated Harald well. At first she was a bit bewildered, asking several times a day "what/who is that?", and not that interested in him, and very gentle when touching him. But after a week or two, having become used to his presence, she started looking for and after him, and wanted to pat and cuddle him. She's often be a bit rough because she doesn't understand that she's heavier than him and can't lay on top of him, and she gets carried away. There was one week, around his forth and fifth week, that she was a bit more consciously rough, but that phase soon passed and now she's nice to him most of the time. That said, she still can't be left alone with him and we have to keep constant watch, mainly because she wants to cuddle or she wants to tease and tickle him and she isn't careful enough. We have a very high bed which Isolde hasn't been able to climb up by herself but now she's learnt how to do it - probably encouraged her curiosity and desire to be with him - so now the only safe place for Harald is his cot.
It's really sweet to see them together. Isolde is already looking after him - running to see him as soon as he make a sound and anxious that he wears his socks - and Harald is already watching what his sister is up to. I'm sure he'll be worshipping the ground she walks on in no time! And she will be his protector and boss at the same time ;)
For those who are interested and waiting for it, I promise I will write about the birth soon!
