At a Canteen in Brussels...

The other day when I went to have lunch in one of the work canteens I was a few minutes early, as I arrived directly from a meeting.  It was 11:55 and the canteens normally open at 12 noon.  I arrived at the same time as two other colleagues (whom I don't know but I call them colleagues here) and we start picking up trays and cutlery by the entrance. 

11:55
Canteen lady 1 [calling out]: "Midi, midi" (she means "we open at 12 noon")
Colleagues: "Yes, we know." [muttering about the service and rigid time-keeping]

11:57
[Female colleague goes up to the self-service sallad buffet]
Canteen lady 1: "Madame, madame, midi!"
Female colleague: "Yes, I know, I'm just looking."
[Canteen lady 1 says something more in French, presumably again about the time, resulting in female colleague returning to the entrance (5 metres away)]

Meanwhile more colleagues have arrived and started to queue up behind us.

11:59
Canteen lady 2: "Midi, midi!"
[Colleagues mutter]

12:00
Canteen guy 1: "Bon appétit!" [making welcoming gestures with hands]


I can understand that they don't want people to make a habit of arriving 10-15 minutes early, but a few minutes early??  3 minutes??  They were all ready by the looks of it, already manning their respective food stations.  And even if they would still be getting the last bits ready (removing lids from pots or what have you), they could at least let colleagues start taking from the sallad buffet, as it is self-service anyway.  Or at least let people enter the room for god's sake.

I don't know if it's due to work regulations or a very high time consciousness, or the usual lack of service-mindedness in this country (sorry, but it is true), but whatever the reason, they could at least have been a bit friendly instead of yelling at us.  If someone says "very sorry, you're a bit early and we're not completely ready, but bear with us a few minutes..." I would gladly wait until they are ready to open.

Anyway, a glimpse of working life in Brussels :)

Baby Humour

Funny text that did the rounds on Facebook the other day.

Birth order of Children:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
 

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
_____________________________________________________
 

Clothes:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
_____________________________________________________
 

Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
_____________________________________________________
 

Dummy:
1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
 

Nappies:
1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_____________________________________________________
 

Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
______________________________________________________
 

Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
_____________ ________________________________________
 

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
______________________________________________________
 

Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his pocket money.

Olympics Etiquette

Found this etiquette guide for Olympics visitors that the Guardian has compiled sooo funny!  Full list below or on the link above.

How do you hire a Boris bike? Why are Brits always saying sorry? Do you look a bit like a terrorist? Find the answers in this guide for foreign visitors

The 8,000 volunteers who will welcome international visitors to London 2012 have been issues with a 66-page instruction manual, covering everything from foreign etiquette to uniform care and advice on dealing with journalists.  But what of the visitors themselves?  Could they not do with a manual outlining the customs, manners and practicalities of the islands they are visiting? We hereby present a simple guide to UK etiquette for the 2012 Olympics.

• Welcome, and before we begin – please accept our apologies. Your four-hour nightmare wait at passport control should not be taken as a symptom of Britain's contempt for foreigners.  It is merely a symptom of a woeful lack of spending on a key aspect of travel infrastructure in the run-up to a hugely important event.  In other words, it's the government that hates you.  Don't worry, they hate us too.
• Canadians: I'm afraid that while you are here you will be repeatedly mistaken for Americans and blamed for all sorts of stuff you had nothing to do with.  Unless you can think of a quick and simple way to distinguish yourselves at a glance – flower in lapel?  Saddle shoes?  Maple leaf eyepatch? – then you are just going to have to suck it up.
• Americans: While you're here, why not pretend to be Canadian?  Very few Britons can tell the difference, and it will allow you to rescue yourself from awkward conversations about the death penalty.
• Under no circumstances should you ask your taxi driver how excited he is about having the Olympics in London this summer.  It's not that he will be reluctant or embarrassed to offer a personal opinion on the matter.  That is not the problem at all.
• You will repeatedly hear that the East End of London, where the bulk of the Olympic events are being held, is an "up and coming" area.  You may wonder what this odd English expression means when applied to your immediate surroundings.  You are quite right to.
• Nobody here can answer any questions you have about fencing.  Google it.
• Pay no attention to those bow-tied etiquette experts you sometimes see on CNN International, telling you how to behave while in Britain.  These people are generally of dubious provenance, normally live in California and tend to peddle advice that is either irrelevant or out of date.  For example, they will often say that Britons love queuing and are so fond of apologising that they will often say "sorry" even when something isn't their fault.  In reality, Britons are just as likely to jump to the front of a queue and then punch the person behind them for coughing.  It all depends on how muggy it is.
• British people may seem to apologise a lot, but it doesn't quite mean the same thing here.  In the UK, "I'm sorry" actually means either a) I didn't hear you; b) I didn't understand you; or c) I both heard and understood you, and I think you're an idiot.
• You might expect locals to be, in the circumstances, a bit defensive about the weather.  But it's true: it really doesn't rain like this every summer.  This is exceptional, which is why it's so cold in your hotel room.  There aren't normally this many soldiers in the streets either.  No, honestly.
• Britons love bleak humour: that's why all the hire bikes are branded with the name of a bank currently being investigated for fixing interest rates.  It's supposed to be funny.
• London's bike hire scheme couldn't be simpler, by the way: just go up to the terminal at any docking station, pay by card and take away one of our so-called "Boris bikes".  When you're done with it, simply throw it into the nearest canal.  They're disposable!
• If you have arrived early, you might just be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the final leg of the Olympic torch relay.  Or you might be at a riot.  Ask yourself the following questions: are there lots of people holding flames, or just one?  Is everybody running in the right direction?  Does the nearest branch of Foot Locker appear to be having the craziest sale ever?
• None of us is officially allowed to speak to members of the foreign press.  We have all been instructed to avoid eye contact while referring your queries to a team of dedicated information managers who don't really exist.  The same policy applies to ministers from totalitarian states and anyone who turns up at the airport holding a Pepsi.
• Do not ask a policeman the best way to get to the West End or how to use an Oyster card.  He wants to help, but he's from the West Midlands.
• Please aid the Olympic authorities and organisers by demonstrating at all times that you are not a terrorist.  Do not perspire, take off your shoes, smile in a weird way while texting someone, or point and shout: "Hey! Look at all those missiles on that roof over there!"  In fact, if you're not using your hands for anything, it's probably best if you keep them in the air where everybody can see them.
• We here in the UK want nothing more than to provide you, our guests, with a fantastic experience this summer, combining the best in international sport, brilliant facilities, fantastic entertainment and a cultural legacy that draws on centuries of excellence in art and architecture.  If you ended up with four tickets for the wrestling at the ExCel Centre, well, better luck next time.

Modern Man?

I have just stolen this picture from my husband's friend's Facebook, I couldn't stop myself (sorry K!). This is their pre-game snacks - fruit and rosé wine. Maybe they bring out the beer and the crisps when the football starts?!

Like a Celebrity

I like reading about celebraties' kids and when we were in Oxford this past Saturday it was like Isolde and her little friend Imogen were such mini celebs!  Except for the fact that us parents weren't of any interest at all, which I guess would be the case with real celebrities.

I took quite a lot of photos with the real camera but here's one with the iPhone as well as a short video for now.  Unfortunately I was too slow with the filming when these Japanese girls went the most crazy.

Things You Miss When Not on Maternity Leave

The sight of Isolde stuck behind the bathtub (we have one of those old-fashioned ones with legs) after having crawled under and then not finding her way out again. I would have taken a photo before "rescuing" her but Peter is a good father :)

Twenty Twelve

Since part of my job right now is related to the London 2012 Olympics (nope, I cannot get anyone tickets; I don't even get to go myself) I just have to watch the BBC comedy show "Twenty Twelve" about the organisation of the 2012 Summer Olympics.

Silly Walk

Wonder if Isolde will walk like this once she starts walking?


-Via Isoldes padda

Only in Sweden?

Last week at Crown Princess Victoria's birthday celebrations in Öland (a tradition since she turned one I think - she's now 34 so maybe time to stop but that's not the point of this post) the rain poured down. The organisers seem to have had a "fingers crossed" policy regarding the weather so nothing was planned in terms of shelter for the royals in the event of rain.

That's how the Swedish King ended up in a bin bag...

Image from Aftonbladet

Could you see Queen Elizabeth or Prince Charles in a similar situation..? Looks like Victoria and her husband (to the left) opted to sweat it out.

Sour Dough Hotel

One of my plans for my maternity leave is to bake sour dough bread. Or it was my plan. I haven't started yet but with 4½ months to go so there's still time I guess!

If I already had started a sour dough batch I wouldn't have to worry (?) about who'd take care of it - as you probably know it has to be constantly "fed" flour and water - if we went on holiday, as I could just have it check into the world's first sour dough hotel! At only 200 SEK per week.

According to the owners the "guests" are treated really well during their stay and checking out fat and content, so maybe I should start one and have let it go on vacation right away?!

Ehum...

I've realised that I probably haven't touched my boobs as much pre-as post-baby. It feels like I'm constantly checking if the nursing pads are properly adjusted in my bra and I don't have any wet spots... I thought the leaking would have stopped by now - I've heard many said that they were fine after two months - but noooo... It's especially uncomfortable wearing a bra when you're sleeping. I will breastfeed for many more months and it is a special moment with your baby, but part of me can't wait until it's over!

I've also realised that I have never talked so much about poo before. And you tend to forget that other people may not be too interested in your baby's bowel movements...

Bin Laughing

Best Twitter right now: GhostOsama. Some highlights:

- Was just granted my 72 virgins, YES! Did I mention that I have 72 virgins? 70 virgins left. I need a cigarette and a nap.

- I retired as the world champion of hide and seek.

- LMAO @NapoleonBonaparte you are short little dude, but I like your style

- @KimJongil you are my go to guy in real life now

- My life secrets I love @SarahPalin she got huge boobs and likes guns

Only in America...

Those of you living in the States have probably already heard about the J. Crew ad where a boy has painted toe nails - in neon pink - and the debate about gender this has caused. It's unbelievable what it has turned into. You'd think it was a joke or April Fools. Crazy. I'm speechless. As always, there's the Daily Show to set people (as in Fox* watching Americans) straight.

The Daily Show - Toemageddon 2011 - This Little Piggy Went to Hell
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

* Though this time also ABC, NBC and CNN seem to have jumped on the loony bandwagon.

Royal Wedding à la T-Mobile

City Stress

Dagens nyheter's På stan recently had an article about so-called micro stress. That's stress about small things, daily life stuff, which is supposedly more predominant among city dwellers. The articles includes a self test - how will I score?

You micro stress when:
1. The computer freezes - Guilty!
2. You must remove your mittens to use your iPhone - Nah, love it so much I don't mind haha!
3. People try to board the tube train before letting you get off - Oh yes!
4. You're waiting for one of the separating sticks (to separate your shopping from the customer's in front of you) to be free in the supermarket - Not really but I do get annoyed when people are slow!
5. People don't keep to the right in the tube (escalators) - Very!
6. Out-of-towners and idiots who stop at the top or bottom of the escalators - Yes! And this could actually be dangerous!
7. Sluggers who check their receipt for too long at the ATM - Don't encounter that too often, so no.
8. You fail to get the attention of the bartender after the umpteen time - Yes! I think I'm too polite and not pushy enough
9. People don't have their ticket ready when they board the bus and keep looking for it while the bus is running - Well, as long as the bus actually leaves and the driver doesn't wait for the person I'm fine
10. When the staff at the burger place says "it's ready in 3 minutes" but those minutes double - Doesn't actually bother me much
11. You need to swipe your credit card several times in the shop - I reflect on it but don't stress about it
12. You get stuck behind a row of prams and fail to overtake - Oh yes! Or just people in general taking up the whole width of the pavement.
13. When a caller introduces themselves for too long - No, but I do like when people get to the point, even friends don't need to bother with "how are you?", etc. Hahaha!
14. People who don't answer their ringing mobiles on the tube/bus - Yes, or when people haven't removed the buttons' beeps or click noises (e.g. when sending text messages)

Score: 8.5 (counted 4, 9 and 11 as 0.5)

Result (5-9 yes): Hi freelancer, student or part-time working enjoyer of life! You are a master of long lunches and "after work" and hurry slowly between the day's few commitments. Lot of talk, little action constitutes your chilled lifestyle where Friday wine lunch is a permanent feature. Trade the Chablin for an energy drink once a week to achieve the ultimate balance in city life.

This sounds like me! Not just during maternity leave but I'm pretty good at staying calm and not letting things get to me. The things that do bother me are just common sense and things people should really stop doing! ;)

Not the Mama!

Peter feels like Dinosaur Dad sometimes. But I tell him that Isolde actually wants to be with him; me, I'm just food to her! ;)

Contagious

Looking forward to when Isolde starts laughing like this!

The Life of a Commoner

Remember a dictator's diary? Now you can follow the daily life of (the democrat) David Cameron.

Bird Cake

For the (angry) birds and/or cake lovers out there...

Handbag Crime Fighter