Show & Tell x2

So, time for some Show & Tell, the evening before the real Show & Tell. I will attempt some sort of mixed post picking up the themes from the first two weeks of the month. Petta has taken over the directorship for October and her first theme was With an open mind I... and her second one History repeats itself.

With less than three months to "touchdown", I have started thinking about giving birth. Earlier I was very much living in the moment and just enjoying being pregnanct and a baby felt very "unreal" and "somewhere in the future". Even at my last midwife's appointment about two weeks ago (and the three-hour "mothers' group" a day earlier, where we were all given a book about birth, "Att föda" by Gudrun Abascal) and my midwife asked if I had started thinking about the delivery, my immediate reaction was "already? Should I?". It was probably a combination of those two sessions and the fact that my belly went through a bit of a growth spur the following week (which seems to have slowed down now - I guess it will be a bit of an interval thing), that set me off. With the Belly Dancer growing and occupying a proportionally smaller space, which means that I can feel his or her movements even more, it's becoming more and more real that we're expecting a baby (and not just an alien, which it feels like sometimes when he or she is all over the place) and that s/he will have to come out some time.



While I'm not afraid of labour there are certain things about it that I don't necessarily look forward to or embrace the thought of... Recently I learnt a new word, "the ring of fire", which doesn't sound nice at all but people reassure me that it lasts for only a few seconds...ehum, we'll see... I assume they don't feel like seconds at the time. Tearing is actually my worst fear. Hours of contractions and pain worry me less than tearing. There are techniques of how to limit tearing, at least severe tearing (and different hospitals have varying "performance" when it comes to tearing) , and I will include this is my birthplan and hope the midwife(s) will help me.



Something I also learned recently is that one's blood volume increases from 4 litres to 5.2 litres during pregnancy to ensure there is enough blood and oxygen for mother and baby during the pregnancy but also to allow for the blood loss that inevitably will occur during labour. Apparently average blood loss is 0.5 litres and some lose more, especially if the placenta doesn't come out easily. Even if it does happen that women die from bleeding, it is very, very rare and even in the past it wasn't necessary blood loss women died from. Instead, for a long time, women really died in vain in connection to childbirth, as they died from infection caused by dirty hands; for most part of the 18th and 19th centuries, doctors went directly from autopsies to delivering babies without washing their hands. When this link was "discovered" at the turn of the century, the share of women who died at childbirth decreased drastically. But of course, modern medicine and the fact that most women nowadays give birth in hospitals where help is easily accessible, are also reasons for low fatality rates.

Speaking of blood I'm actually more afraid of caesarean section and I can't understand how women willingly choose this option (at least not when there's no traumatic experience that explains their choice). I don't think most people realise that a C-section is a major operation where at least seven doctors and other staff must be present and you need to cut through as many layers (and all scars have to heal, not just the visible scar)... An operation is always a risk and when it comes to childbirth, which women have gone through for thousands and thousands of years*, C-section remains the higher risk option (there are exceptions of course, but in general). That said, I try to have an open mind both towards women who choose the C option, and also towards the possibility that I may end up having one in the end if labour doesn't go the way it should. A friend who ended up having a C-section gave me a book that I will read just in case. Having an open mind also means that I will try not to feel cheated of "the real experience", which some women who had a C-section "unwillingly" have said they did. One can never know how one's body will act and react and even if one can prepare through reading, taking breething classes and going to yoga, these methods are never full-proof and in the end it comes down to body and nature.

I will also have an open mind in terms of where I will give birth. My midwife is linked with BB Stockholm and I have priority there, but there is no guarantee that it will be there as there is always a risk they could be full on that particular day/night. In practice though, most women do end up going to the hospital of their choice, unless it's the summer period when the hospitals struggle with staff shortages (even the Swedish Europe Minister did not get preferential treatment in July and ended up going to Uppsala to give birth). So it's highly likely our baby will be born at BB Stockholm. That said, I don't want to be all set on that and be disappointed if that doesn't happen. I have heard so many people say "oh, I don't want to go to hospital X because I have heard..." or similar. I actually think - and even my midwife (Barnmorskorna Östermalm) says so - that most hospitals in the Stockholm area are very good and very even in the care they provide. It used to be that the private (i.e. privately provided but still publicly funded) alternatives offered something extra, for example private room after delivery, but nowadays all maternity wards do as that is simply what parents expect. They may not all have parquet flooring but I wonder how many parents really care about that, either in the middle of painful labour or after, when they have just experienced the miracle of life. And even if there are some differences in quality, what's the use of thinking of them when one cannot influence it in the end - then one will just worry more.

If you ask me how I feel closer to the date 9 January 2011 I may say differently, but so far I try not to have any particular expectations Beyond what I can do to prepare, I will just go with the flow and trust nature (and the medical experts).

* Of course, as the name proves, ceasareans are not new either, but you know what I mean.