Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Broken English

Just have go give you some highlights from the book Broken English by Stewart Clark!

"Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the this technical mess."
Swedish politician opening an international trade fair on technology (fair is mässa in Swedish).

" Dear friends, we are the same guys as before, although we have lost our pricks."
When Götabanken blev Gota Bank. The little dots on the o which makes the Swedish letter ö are called prickar in Swedish.

"Bowels in sauce" and "Chicken in spit".
On restaurant menu in Greece. Sorry?

"In case of fire, please stuff a towel under the door and expose yourself at the window."
Hotel sign in Norway. Yes, we are all nudists in Scandinavia...

Sign: "Any person (except players) caught collecting golf balls on this course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed."
Tough measures..

Book title: "Correctly English in 100 days"
Says it all..

"The skier took off with a tremendous fart."
Comment on televised ski jumping. Fart in Swedish is speed.

"Excuse me, what is the fart limit?"
Swedish tourists in England, see above.

"Buttered saucepans and fried hormones"
Menu in Japan. Are those testosterone or estrogen?

"Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed."
Sign in hotel room in Japan. I agree, it is a disgusting habit!

"Pain and wine included"
From menu, in France I assume..

"Do not put foreign bodies into the lavatory."
Sign on a SAS airplane. Are domestic bodies fine? What about when you're on international territory?

4 comments:

  1. Once in Sweden at a wedding, I was introduced to someone whom I had assumed was the bride's cousin Pekka. So I held out my hand to shake his hand, and said "Pekka?" and he said, "no actually my name is Stephen".

    Turns out he was actually the groom's best man. From England. God knows what he thought I was.

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  2. Brilliant! How about the Swedish signs "Infart" and "Utfart". "Infart": Entrance (when you are driving in, for instance a garage entrance) and "Utfart": when you exit. A certain English person we all know finds it hilarious... English humour perhaps ;-) but I agree, it´s so much more fun in English..
    //Suvi

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